Nobody performs their true self at 7am, which is exactly why mornings are so revealing. How you negotiate with an alarm says more about you than any job interview, and your breakfast choices amount to a signed confession left on the kitchen counter.
Seven questions cover the alarm, the scroll, the outfit crisis, and the great escape out the front door. Answer honestly — the snooze button already sold you out anyway — and get sorted into one of four morning species, each with its own strange dignity.
1/7
The alarm goes off. Describe the next ninety seconds.
2/7
Breakfast this morning was…
3/7
You pick up your phone. What loads first?
4/7
Tell the truth about how today's outfit got chosen.
5/7
Leaving the house actually goes like…
6/7
It's Saturday with zero obligations. Your morning looks like…
7/7
Final question: what single invention would fix mornings forever?
